Dedicated to my incredible family, for their unending connection, presence, and depth, and for my mother for a truly remarkable, life-giving experience. Written April 6th. Recorded April 8th, my grandmother’s birthday, 2019.
Hello and welcome to NOT YOUR MAMA, a soulful storytelling podcast dedicated to being responsible for self, for the higher good . I am your host, Misha Van Horn. Thanks so much for listening.
Hi there, this is Misha with my first installment for NOT YOUR MAMA. This piece is an experimental with music and story. It’s about the experience that I had with my mother who was dying of cancer, on her deathbed. She turned 57 a week before she died.
It’s been 1 week since Mom died.
The weather today matched the weather 7 days ago-gorgeous and sunny, with a gentle light breeze.
I slowly opened the double french doors that lead to the green patio space of her luxury hospice room. Who’d thought that delaware Hospice had such eloquent accommodations for Medicaid recipients.
The 10 of us filled up and spilled out of that homey room and onto the soft grass that looked out to a meandering path, a gazebo, and woods further away. We had the place to ourselves.
I smudged everyone as we laid on the grass, chatted on the grass, ate take-out on the grass, as sun shone, and the breeze gently caressing my Mother’s quickly dying body inside the cozy, mustard-colored room.
Mama worked hard to take each of her last day’s last breaths. Her mother and sister and grandchild and lover were there at her side as us others chatted and laid and ate and saged on Mother Earth.
It was a beautifully dreamy time for such a sad occasion.
It was a good day to die.
Thanks for listening to this first piece. I imagine this will be one in a series to memorialize my mother. Please feel free to share this with anyone you feel called to. You can hear more of my stories on itsnotyourmam.com
