Process Session # 1
I went to design school for Interior Architecture. To become what some in related industries might call a ‘Paper Architect’, which means I’d need a ‘real’ architect to give a stamp of approval on my building designs. This, however, did not deter me from pursuing the four-year fine arts degree. Although our training would offer us the multitude of knowledge needed to design structurally sound, fully functional buildings, I felt relieved from the heavy responsibility of any errors my designs might have had. Besides, another set of eyes in regards to safety is usually a good idea. Having support on projects of such magnitude deserve more knowledge and experience than just my own. And besides, there was no way in hell I’d make it through the many years of ‘real’ architect school without several hiatuses to maintain my sanity.
I dropped out of design school after two years
So I dropped out of my design school after two years. I was proud of myself for sticking with it for as long as I did. Every semester I thought to drop out. Hell, I almost walked out several times a semester. Being pressured to design with absurdly unrealistic deadlines and half-ass knowledge to get the project completed on time was a tremendous hardship on my being. I am an artist for Goddess sake…I have my own process, and in NO WAY was higher education apart of my spiritually-connected and careful (that is, full of care), artistic process. I felt like the Jack Kerouac or Ruth Weiss of my time, preaching my authentic, channeled truth to outdated bureaucratic systems who grossly undervalue, underestimate, and who don’t understand (and certainly not overstand) my ‘other’ realms kinda thinking, even though design thinking is outside-of-the-box kinda thinking. To be ‘Othered’ for not following the already broken rules felt like a step back in my world, and I was ready to move forward, despite what society told me I had to do in order to be successful. I must admit: I imagine scoffing, undermining, and breaking the broken rules surely didn’t help my case-lack of fear, respect, and anarchy isn’t good for any discriminatory, deep pockets, bottom-line system that rely on authority-based fear mongering posed as the way to the ‘American Dream’, which, in and of itself, is a fraud. More on this later.
Most of the professors were top-notch educators, architects, designers, builders, makers, and artists of all kinds with many years of experience. Some of them I even *almost* felt intimidated by, which, for me, was quite the thrill (this is rarely ever the case with any human). And by intimidated, I mean they were so extraordinary in their experience and knowledge, that I could barely dare to show my menial, beginner’s design work. To be critiqued by such badass architect women is quite the humbling experience-I recommend it to anyone who thinks their shit is hot shit. It’s probably something like going on one of those reality tv shows…singin’ & dancin’ your ass off and them telling you that your art is pure-T shit. It was like that.
However, I believe it was exactly this experience and knowledge that held back progress. When we know something so well, and have been doing it the same way for so long, changing is the last thing anyone wants to do. Being told that your system is old and outdated usually doesn’t go so well, and particularly with older folks-It’s essentially saying that they are old and outdated (which might a hard truth). This doesn’t mean, however, that they are not valued, appreciated, or need become obsolete. It just means that a revamping, a level-up is necessary, and what better people to help create a new system than the ones who know the system. The “well, that’s just how it is” or “You have to do it this way” mentality is not much on forward movement, and yet I was in design school- DESIGN school- this was exactly the kind of degree that revamps outdated, old systems-we were trained change-makers and problem-solvers!
Here’s what I know: The professors cared a whole hellofalot. They instructed me to the best of their ability, took time to guide me, encouraged me, and inspired me to each project’s end with their baddassery…and at the end of the day, it still wasn’t the right fit-they didn’t have what I truly needed, which was time to process what I had learned. More Processing Sessions on my design school experience later.
Here are some thoughts I’m pondering and offer to you as well:
How was your school experience? What did you gain from going to school? How could you have done it different, better?
